In Nigeria, there are just different types of students on the campuses; the good, the ugly, the bad, the funny, the unbelievable, the confused and the list goes on. In this article, we are going to group these students into 16 categories and tell you how they stand out!
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Types of Students in Nigerian Universities
The different categories of students you can find in Nigerian Universities are as described below:
1. The slay gang
These obviously came to school to slay. They have all the latest fashion trends and use every opportunity to show off. They don’t usually dress for the occasion, they dress to surprise the occasion.
They love attention and so they seize every opportunity to get it. You can see them with their neon drip set at the stadium, with their glass water bottles and waist-bags. Or in church with their weaves, designer clothes, shoes and bags and full face beat.
The classroom is their showroom. They serve fashion goals to their classmates every freaking day. You might not need to go online to check the latest fashion trends as they bring the news to your classroom every day.
Any day you don’t see them in class, just know they’ve run out of clothes.
2. The heavenly host
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These students are my best kind of students because they live by example. They came down from heaven to rescue the lost students. They tell you how wearing worldly clothes and singing secular music has earned you a mansion in hell.
You know them with their long skirts, natural hair or very holy hairdos, bogus blouses and shirts. The brothers wear trousers that can be used as full wrappers and their ties? so long and very bold. Let’s talk about their shoes next time.
They are very spiritual. The only business they have with world people is greetings. They must never be seen with unbelievers except during evangelism. They can see themselves on the right hand of the father already.
You always see them praying very early in the morning at the football pitches, or anywhere that looks like a mountaintop, after which they pray in groups till they get to their different lodges or hostels. To be one of them, your whole body has to vibrate when you pray, and you must speak in tongues and shout till you lose your voice. They always see visions.
As a heavenly host, the size of your bible determines your heavenly prize. Small or fancy Bibles are not accepted.
3. The advisers
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This set of students always have a word of advice or two for everyone around them. They always lecture fellow students, especially freshers on what to do and not do on campus.
they can call you in the middle of the night to tell you that the cloth you wore to class was exposing your cleavage, or to tell you that the lecturers in the department are not happy with you.
The ones in the hostel will tell you to stop moving with your boyfriend /girlfriend because your parents won’t be happy if they find out. They want to know everything about you and how
They are more like the elders of the campus and the annoying thing is that you can never correct or advise them. Who are you to advise the wisest of them all?
4. The cooks
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These students came to school to cook. They have a recipe for every meal. They don’t cook like normal students. They have all the kitchen utensils in their cupboard; blender, mortar, fruit squeezer, and even microwave.
They live a triangular life – from the classroom to the market, and back to their kitchen. They wake up early to cook and even take to class. One would wonder if they’re real students or chefs-in-training.
They cook away their time in school. Saturdays and Sundays are their best days. They punish hungry students with aromas of food. They are ready to cook any meal they see on the internet so long as they don’t have to travel overseas to get the ingredients.
These have the happiest set of friends. Who doesn’t love good meals?
5. The rumour-mongers
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This group of students know about every activity happening in and around the school. They always have new gist. Nothing happens without their knowledge.
They know everyone’s boyfriend/girlfriend, how they met and who loves the other more. They have friends in high places. They tell you about things that are about to happen in school, how they will happen and why they will happen. They make you wonder if you’re blind or deaf because they hear and see it all.
If any news circulates without their knowledge, the story is either fake or stale. They just have to know first.
6. The born leaders’
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This type of students were born to lead while others follow. They seize every opportunity to be heard. It’s either you surrender your mantle willingly or they fight your office till you give up.
They always struggle to be the class rep/ course rep or group leaders in their class, wing rep or even the Governor in their hostel, prayer leader or unit head in church.
They always have something to complain about other people’s government. They can contest for a post several times without giving up. You see their posters at every SUG election. They just have to lead because it’s their calling.
7. The wailers
This group of students wear complaints like clothes. They are always complaining about the world. They have a whole truck of sad stories to tell. If you think you’re suffering, wait till they open their mouth to gist you. They gist whoever cares to listen, even if they just met you. The ear that listens could be a helping hand, who knows?
They love pity! they tell you how they haven’t eaten for months, how they trekked from Lagos to Sokoto, how they live under the bridge, how their uncles took away all they had, how they drink garri with salt and they even had to take turns in drinking it because their dad’s last card was #50, how they feel like dying. After all, the world seems to be against them, how everything bad has happened to them, the only thing left is death. Haba!
They do “suffering” competitions like they have a prize to win. They are permanently broke, they expect their friends to always understand and buy stuff for them. If you see them with a nice outfit or shoe, don’t bother asking, it’s always a hand-me-down or probably borrowed, they can only afford to ‘breathe’.
Most times you wonder who pays their school fees. It doesn’t look like they’ve smelt that kind of money all their life.
8. Social Butterflies
This group of students know everyone on campus. They greet everyone they meet on their way. it’s either they know you or someone who knows you, or you know someone who knows whom they know; there just has to be a “know“.
They know all the happening places in and around the school. They know all the student celebrities. They have friends in every hostel and lodge off-campus. These are always in every social gathering. They are active on all social media platforms, looking for new friends to add to the “little” they have. They just love people.
They always contest for beauty pageants in school and fortunately, they always win because they know all the judges. If they don’t win, which only happens by mistake, they will contest again, again and again. Till there’s no crown to contest for, then they will spread their wings outside the campus and beyond.
Such a butterfly, haha!
9. The rich kids
This group of students are usually from very wealthy homes. They have all the latest gadgets, latest outfits, loads of provisions and their bank alerts are usually very heavy.
They speak so well, have nice skin, slay effortlessly without even knowing it, and smell “Money“. You can even tell they’re rich from a distance. They make you want to ask your parents some very important questions.
They either just came in from abroad or will leave for abroad anytime soon. Sometimes, you wonder why they’re even living in the school hostel or why they agreed to school in Nigeria in the first place.
This set of students is the reason most weak students have low self-esteem.
10. The bookworms
This group of students have all the books on the course outline. they have all the textbooks used in the department, whether they are asked to buy them or not. If they don’t have a particular book, then it’s not meant for their department.
They are the ones you meet for all the materials and up-to-date notes. Their break times are spent at the photocopy shop. They love anything that looks like a book, it turns them on. Some lecturers even borrow books from them, that’s the height of it.
These students are the readers of tomorrow. They read against future degrees. They can read 10-20 textbooks for just one course so that they can embarrass their lecturers with points in the exam hall.
They also love big grammar. To them, if you don’t speak heavy grammar, you don’t know why you’re in school.
11. The awaiting-husband crew
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These lovely sisters of mine are in school just to wait for Mr. Right. They are desperate to settle down but since the husband is not yet available, they have to go the university.
They only choose the courses they think are simple so they can graduate fast and move in with their missing rib. Their biggest dream is to get married and have children, every other dream can wait. They hate stress.
They don’t date school boyfriends. Their love interests are mainly businessmen who are ready to settle down before they graduate. Most of them wear engagement rings from the first year to the final year and they treat these rings with so much respect.
The intelligent ones graduate with good grades, while others just need the certificate, they don’t care about what is written on it. Once they’re married, they have made it in life.
12. The ‘Wanna Be’s
These students struggle so hard to belong. You can tell from their fake accents and fashion sense. They want to be classy by all means.
They can spend their last card on outfits and gadgets to move with the rich kids. They overdress sometimes. These don’t dress for the occasion, they dress “out of” the occasion, just so you can notice them.
They seize every opportunity to extort from their parents and family members. They accuse their parents of things they don’t have and places they have never been to. They can even photoshop themselves inside a plane or a place abroad just to prove their point.
13. The O’ yes members
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This set of students is in school because everyone is going to school. The only thing that differentiates them from non-university students is that they come back home at the end of the semester or session.
Their biggest achievement in life is gaining admission into the University. They have very annoying mindsets, zero exposure nor composure, their fashion sense cries for help. They are nonchalant about schoolwork.
They read not to know but to pass the exam and ‘on to the next one!’ These don’t bother themselves about anything that is outside the course outline, no skills, no extra effort, no plans. They can’t wait to graduate and move to the next step, even when they don’t know what the next step is all about.
After school, they either go back to learn a trade or get married because according to them, there is no job in the country and you must pay to get a good job. They are more like, “whatever I see, I take”.
14. The MVPs
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These are the all-rounders. The ones who passed through the university and allowed the university to pass through them as well. They are both street-smart and book-smart.
These students are good time managers. They attend classes, parties, events in and around the school, church programs, know the latest fashion trends and entertainment gist, hustle on the side and still find time to read extensively.
They are the ones you can ask for the area of concentration during revisions, If they don’t know it then you won’t find that question on the question paper.
These always graduate with good grades. They are the real deals.
15. The Lovebirds
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This set of students live up to their name. They came to school to find their missing rib.
They are the human representation of 1+1 = 1. The only thing left is a marriage certificate. They do everything together, go to school together, wear matching outfits, and hold hands everywhere, every time! It’s even more annoying when they’re classmates because the next seat is permanently taken, as long as their partner is not yet seated.
They share the same friends and enemies alike. You dare not advise one against the other. You are either for them or against them. Sometimes, you wonder if they truly just met in school because their bond is so strong.
16. The party starters
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These are the ones who came to school to party. They have all the dates of upcoming events and parties at the back of their hand. They rarely have time for class. They are only active a few weeks before CAs or Exams.
They are the life of the party. They are always the MC or assistant MC. When they are not partying, they will organise a mini party or hang out with friends, there just has to be something to celebrate. They hate quiet places, it reminds them that the world is about to end.
They have all the trending Asoebi styles on their phone because Saturdays are for weddings, Sundays are for thanksgivings, and birthdays during the week.
What a wawuu!
Where do you belong?
So, guys, these are the different types of students that you can find in Nigerian universities. I’m sure there are a lot more than I listed.
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What category of student do you belong to as a student or while you were in school? Is there a category you think should be added? Please drop your opinion in the comment section. I’d love to read them.